Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
