her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
They took my balls.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
