I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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