Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
