I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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