I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
