just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
