so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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