Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
