some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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