i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you would pick up someone in the library
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
