If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
