I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
