i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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