Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
