i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
