you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
