Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
