CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
