If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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