Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
