wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
