can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
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