when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
