She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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