sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
