He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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