Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
