Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
