Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
