She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
3pm strippers are depressing
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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