ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
