I don't think brook has ever known best
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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