Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
