she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
