Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
