Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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