So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We are all done wearing pants today
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
