for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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