My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
