Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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