Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
