the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
