We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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