Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
