Best friends brother. Beat that.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
