I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
