But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
