Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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