She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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